Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Review: Until I Find You (by Rea Frey)

My Rating: 2 stars

This book annoyed me from the moment I started reading all the way to the very end. The story was far-fetched and the way much of the plot played out, I basically had to suspend disbelief the entire time.  But what annoyed me most was actually the main character Bec (short for Rebecca), who was so overwritten as a character that I ended up tremendously disliking her (even though I think the intention was, based on the way she was portrayed, the reader is supposed to sympathize with her).   Bec is diagnosed with a condition that causes her to gradually lose her eyesight, yet despite that, she is happy and intent on living a blissful life with her wonderful, supportive husband and their soon-to-be born baby.  But then Bec's husband dies in a horrible accident and instantly her world is shattered.  Unable to bear living in the same house without her husband, Bec decides to move in with her mother, who still lives in the house in Elmhurst that she grew up in.  Shortly after her son Jackson is born however, tragedy strikes again, as Bec's mother dies unexpectedly, and  with no other living relatives to speak of, Bec is left to take care of her infant son Jackson by herself.  Fortunately, Bec has a group of friends and neighbors – other moms in their small, close-knit community – who understand what she is going through and are more than willing to help her out. 

 

The problem is, Bec is fiercely stubborn (probably "obsessively stubborn" is a more accurate term) and basically refuses any type of help from anyone — in fact, she is so adverse to people even offering to help her that she often goes out of her way to demonstrate she is perfectly capable on her own, even if it involves lying about predicaments that she finds herself in.  To me though, it's not just the fact that Bec constantly and deliberately pushes away all help of any kind that annoyed me, but also the aggressively defiant way she refuses the help, almost as though she is insulted by the notion that other people are offering to help her.   It defies logic and quite frankly, I found her behavior tremendously offensive.   One example (out of many) that especially frustrated me was when she's at the park with the other moms and she passes out briefly (likely from sleep deprivation and exhaustion, which she was already complaining about early on in the story) — she then falls and hits her head and of course, her friends rush to help her, but she refuses their efforts to help her up, refuses to let them tend to her wound, refuses to let them accompany her home.  Instead, she ridiculously insists that she has no problem walking home by herself in that condition (with her baby in tow) and to prove it, she charges forward to grab the stroller and head home, except that her friends intervene and force her to let them accompany her (they actually had to get on either side of her and drag her with them!).   Another example — the stairs in her old house, which have broken steps that caused her to trip and nearly fall multiple times, yet doesn't get it fixed because she either doesn't have time (overexertion with doing everything herself) or doesn't want to ask others to help her fix it.  So instead, it's one excuse after another — she knows her way around the house well enough to avoid the broken step, and is very careful on the stairs when carrying the baby (indeed, the 2 times — maybe more, I just stopped paying attention after awhile — that she actually fell down the stairs, she wasn't holding the baby, which I guess is justification that she's in the right?  And don't get me started on the "drama for drama's sake" plot point of having Bec – and other characters -- repeatedly  trip / nearly fall / actually fall down the stairs multiple times over the course of the entire story – why not just get the darn stairs fixed!?).


I think one of the reasons why Bec's stubbornness irked me as much as it did was because of the impact of her actions and behavior on her baby, which she seemed completely oblivious to.  Decisions such as choosing to take her son with her everywhere she went Instead of hiring a nanny or babysitter or even having her friends help watch the baby for a few hours so she could run errands or whatnot, were irrational, especially when a few of those situations actually put the baby in danger (like that one scene where she had the baby in a carrier strapped to her chest and insisted on going to the park all alone late at night to poke around, even though she was given specific instructions to stay home).   This kind of nonsensical behavior from Bec basically permeates the entire story.  


I actually had a lot more issues with the story (particularly as it relates to Bec's interactions with her ex Jake and also the local police), but I can't bring those up without giving away the plot, so I won't list those at this time.  Overall though, as I mentioned earlier, the entire story felt very unrealistic to me.  I mean, I get the message the author is trying to send here — the blind young widow who rises above her circumstances in spite of tragedy, who should be admired for her strength, courage, and unfaltering devotion to her infant son — but execution-wise, it went the wrong way in my opinion.  I think most of us would agree that asking for help when it's warranted (I.e.: when one is injured, as an example), is not normally viewed as a sign of weakness, so for Bec to be portrayed to such extreme, just doesn't make much sense. 


One thing I do want to mention — this is actually the third book I've read by Rea Frey and I actually liked both of her previous novels quite a lot, so I'm a bit disappointed (and surprised) that this one fell so far off the mark for me.  With that said, it hasn't put me off from reading her works in the future, though I do hope that I will take to her next book much better.


Received paper ARC directly from publisher (St. Martin's Griffin).


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