Review: Becoming Duchess Goldblatt (by Anonymous)

My Rating:  3.5 stars

Let me say up front that I don't care much for social media.  Yes, I do have accounts on all the major platforms, but I created those more out of necessity than anything else.  I guess you can say that I "tolerate" social media in that I use when it when I have to (for example — to connect with a friend or distant relative or to research or get information on something), but outside of that I rarely post anything and rarely interact with anyone.  For the record, I have nothing against social media itself — it's more that the experience is not for me, as I find the pressure of constantly having to "keep up" with the trends and conversations on there extremely exhausting and stressful, and I basically have neither time nor patience for any of it.

Given the above, it should probably come as no surprise that I had never heard of the fictional Internet personality Duchess Goldblatt prior to reading this book.  In fact, this book probably would never have come onto my radar if one of my book clubs hadn't chosen it as a monthly read.   This is actually a memoir by an anonymous author who writes about how she came to create an alter ego on social media that is so beloved across legions of her devoted fans.  The author encountered a lot of loss and tragedy in her life and in efforts to parse her grief (not to mention the incredible loneliness she felt at the time), she created Duchess Goldblatt on a whim, not expecting the character to attract as much attention as it did.  Indeed, the Duchess can count among her followers many famous names in the literary community, such as Elizabeth McCracken, Alexander Chee, Benjamin Dreyer, Celeste Ng, Laura Lippman, etc.  But for the author, one of the most meaningful experiences that Duchess Goldblatt gave her was the opportunity to develop a close friendship with her real-life long-time idol, singing legend Lyle Lovett.   The author's candid conversations with Lyle (both as herself and as Duchess Goldblatt) were a lot of fun to read and I felt that's one of the things that made this book so special.  

Overall, I found this to be an interesting read.  I appreciated the candor with which the author recounted key moments of her life and the various struggles she went through.  There were parts that I resonated with deeply and wholeheartedly— such as this paragraph where the author's boss calls her into the office to praise her for doing a great job at work:  "Outperforming other people is of no interest to me.  It certainly doesn't motivate me.  If anything, it makes me feel a little guilty. I was raised not to show off, not to be proud, not to draw attention to myself.  I don't like people looking at me or standing too close. Compliments make me uncomfortable.  My greatest childhood dream was to be an author whom everyone would read but no one would look at directly, but I couldn't figure out a way to write books without people knowing my name."  I love this quote because it describes my exact sentiments as well.  I also related to the insecurities and vulnerabilities that the author felt about herself, as I struggled with these at various points in my life as well.  With all that said, the parts I didn't enjoy as much were the quotes and excerpts from the Duchess Goldblatt social media accounts — don't get me wrong, I liked the concept of it and I definitely appreciated the author for creating something that gave so much joy and comfort to so many people, but for me personally, the excerpts were distracting. Basically, I preferred to read about the author herself (this is a memoir after all) more than about her fictional Internet persona.  

Even though this one turned out different than I expected, I'm still glad I read it, as it was a pretty unique experience overall.   Given the author's desire to remain anonymous, I admire her willingness to share her personal story with so many people (I know I wouldn't be able to do it for sure).  I wish her the best of luck!