My Rating: 5 stars
How could I not give 5 stars to a book that touched me so
deeply and resonated with me in such a way that closing the cover after
reaching the end of this poignant story made me feel like I was leaving a part
of myself behind? This is the third book I’ve read so far this year
that broke my heart and moved me to the point of tears, but the first one where
I experienced such a deep connection emotionally that, upon finishing the book,
I felt utterly depleted, as though the wind had been knocked out of me.
Even now, as I attempt to put into words how I feel about this astoundingly
beautiful debut novel, I am struggling because nothing I write will do justice
to how good this book was and the profound impact it had on me. It is not
often that I am rendered essentially speechless after reading a book and have
to fight hard to gather my thoughts as well as express them in a somewhat
coherent manner – yes, THIS book had THAT type of effect on me.
Even though I do not share the same culture or religion
as the family at the center of this story, I am blown away by how strongly I
was still able to relate to each of the characters as well as how similar our
experiences were on so many levels. Indeed, this was one of the most
unique aspects of this book and absolutely a reflection of the author Fatima
Farheen Mirza’s immense literary talent – I was floored by the author’s ability
to explore with such depth the complexities of family dynamics against the backdrop
of one particular culture and religion, yet still make the story so universally
resonant with those of us who may not share the same beliefs. Mirza’s writing is exquisite, beautiful,
emotionally nuanced to the point that it draws you in from the very first page,
grabs a hold of your heart, and never lets go.
This is the kind of writing that is quiet and subtle, yet rich in its
coverage of the topics that matter – family dynamics, culture and tradition,
community, religion, identity and belonging.
Each character was so tenderly and gently drawn at the hands of this
talented writer, yet the portrayal was so realistic and authentic that there
were many moments where I felt I was reading about a real Indian-American
Muslim family learning to exist in a world where the culture was so different
from their own.
This was a family I grew to love – the parents Rafiq and
Layla, their two daughters Hadia and Huda, and the youngest, their only son
Amar whose path, even as early as birth, was already rocky and perhaps destined
to “not fit in” with the norm. I love how the story alternated
between each character’s point of view -- the same events, life moments at
times told from a different character’s perspective, the differences in
interpretation of each other’s words, actions, facial expressions, body
language, and how all these nuances in each character’s interactions with one
another trigger a myriad of reactions and decisions that eventually altered the
course of their lives, for better or for worse. As the story progressed
and I got to delve deep into the thoughts and feelings of each character, I
began to see a little bit of myself in each of the siblings and it was at that
point that I knew this book would affect me on personal level. I
resonated with eldest sister Hadia – the part of her that was studious,
responsible, obedient, the rock in the family who can always be counted on to
do the right thing, to follow the right path, to sacrifice her wants and
desires in order to fulfill the obligations expected of her – I completely
understood the inner conflict she had to go through in trying to reconcile her genuine
love and affection for her family with the feelings of resentment and constant
yearning for recognition and praise from her parents that, at times, got the
better of her and influenced her decisions.
I connected with middle sister Huda – the sibling who was most
self-assured and comfortable in her own shoes, who was the voice of reason, who
wore her heart on her sleeve and was never afraid to tell things like it is, to
be up front and direct, to admonish her siblings when they screw up, yet in
times of need, stand loyally by their side and be that shoulder to cry on or
that source of comfort during moments of despair. And yes, I absolutely
resonated with Amar – the wayward son, the baby of the family, the sensitive
soul who always felt everything so deeply, who was kind-hearted but rebellious,
the apple of his mother’s eye and the sibling who received the most outward
love and attention, well-liked by everyone in the community, yet he was the one
who struggled the most with his “place” in the world and felt that he never
truly “belonged,” a young man constantly striving for acceptance, self-worth,
identity.
The last part of the story, told entirely from the father
Rafiq’s point of view, very nearly broke me – from the first page of that
section, the tears flowed non-stop and by the end, I was outright crying.
Hearing the narrative and many of the same defining moments from the earlier
sections, this time told from the father’s first person perspective -- the one
character who had remained silent for the most part throughout majority of the
story finally giving his account – it was stirring and powerful, heartfelt and
inspiring, yet at the same time tremendously heart-breaking. It made me
think about my own relationship with my parents, the many arguments we’ve had
over the years, and reminded me how fragile family relationships can be, how a
family can love each other deeply yet make decisions in each other’s best interests
that end up hurting each other the most. This last section brought the
story full circle and was particularly thought-provoking, albeit emotionally
draining.
Many reviews out there have sung the praises of this book
and rightfully so! There isn’t much I
can add that hasn’t already been eloquently stated by others so I won’t attempt
to put all my thoughts here but just know that even now, a day after finishing
this book, I am still thinking about it, revisiting certain scenes and allowing
Mirza’s beautifully written words to once again flow through my mind. This one is highly recommended, without a
doubt!
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