Review: Educated: A Memoir (by Tara Westover)

My Rating:  4.5 stars

Wow, what a story!  This was one of the most fascinating memoirs I've ever read and one of the most well-written ones too!  From the moment I started reading, I was so engaged and drawn into Tara Westover's story that I found it impossible to put this book down – a first for me with a nonfiction book!   Actually, throughout the entire time I was reading, I had to remind myself constantly that this was not a novel, not some fictional coming-of-age tale about a girl who was able to rise above her circumstances and carve out an existence for herself despite everything that happened, because in all honesty, this absolutely read like a novel.   Tara's story is truly amazing and I'm glad she got the chance to tell it-- the way she was able to get an education for the first time at the age of 17, even being able to study at Cambridge and Harvard and eventually earning her PhD, was absolutely inspiring!  I appreciate the raw honesty with which she relayed her story and am impressed by the tremendous strength and courage that it undoubtedly took for her to lay bare her inner conflicts and struggles so vividly for us, also going to great lengths to clarify the details and events that were part of her own memory versus the ones that were not.  As we were exposed to one harrowing incident after another and bore witness to the destructive behavior and actions of Tara's parents – her religious fanatic survivalist father and meek, subservient mother – there were moments where I wanted this story to be a work of fiction because it was so hard to come to terms with all the cruelty and abuse that went on.  It felt surreal at times, witnessing this family's brutality – more specifically the father and one of the brothers --  spurred by an unwavering, cult-like adherence to an ideology that obviously defied logic as well as all common sense yet was embraced so wholeheartedly and unquestioningly.  Tara never once used the word "cult" in her memoir and it is unclear whether she ever thought of her family as such, but the way she described her parents, especially later on with how powerful they became and all the "employees" who not only worked for them but also admired them and adapted their ideology, it is obvious to any outside observer that's what her family eventually became.   In this regard, I can't help but worry for Tara, with the publication of this memoir, what her future will look like, especially knowing that her journey is far from over and she continues to struggle with reconciling the new life she built for herself against the love and loyalty she still has for her family.

And this is the one area – Tara's continued sense of loyalty to her family – that made me struggle with rating this book and, to a certain extent, writing this review.  I absolutely felt for Tara and it was heartbreaking what she went through, but at the same time, it was very difficult for me to reconcile her constant need to still seek validation from her family even after everything that happened.  She acknowledged herself that her parents were abusive, manipulative, maniacal to the point of delusional, and their lifestyle was one that she no longer wanted to be a part of -- her parents, for their part, also made it clear that her refusal to conform and submit to their ideology meant that she was "no longer welcome" in the family and they wanted nothing to do with her anymore either -- yet despite all this, somehow, Tara is still not able to let go.  The part where she talked about writing to her mother every year and basically "begging for approval" to see her was tough to read and in all honesty, frustrated me to no end.  Even though her family outright rejected her time and time again and she already knew it was "pointless" to continue reaching out to her family and making the trip back to her family's compound every year, she still continued to do it – almost as though, despite knowing the impossibility of it, she was hoping for some divine miracle that her family might one day "come around" and change their ways.  While part of me definitely understands the difficulty of cutting ties with family and empathizes with the conflicting emotions that Tara continues to struggle with, another part of me can't help wondering whether someday, she might succumb and everything she worked so hard to achieve – the education and new life -- may be in vain.  I'm pretty sure there will be more to this story in the future and I can only hope that whatever happens, Tara can continue to find her inner peace and happiness.

Overall, this was a tough read, but a powerful one and so very important!  It opened my eyes to so many things and I know Tara's story will continue to stay with me for a long time to come.  Highly recommended and necessary read!!

Received ARC from Random House via NetGalley

Review: White Houses (by Amy Bloom)

My rating: 3 stars

I seem to be the outlier here but this book, which I was initially excited to read, ended up falling a little flat for me.  The first half or so of the book was really good, especially the chapters about Lorena Hickok's (Hick's) childhood and her background – that portion read like a riveting biography that I couldn't seem to put down.  I found myself wanting to know more about Hick's personal story in terms of her family and the other people she had met during her brief stint with the circus.  I was also fascinated by her perspective on some of the historical events and people she had covered as a journalist (i.e. the section on Lindbergh was quite interesting).  As a result, I was able to fly through this first portion of the book pretty quickly.  Unfortunately though, once the second half of the book transitioned into Hick's relationship with the Roosevelts (Franklin and his wife Eleanor) and what her life was like living with them in the White House, the story really slowed down for me.  While I did feel like a fly on the wall getting the "inside scoop" on some of the things that went on behind closed doors and some of Hick's observations about the Roosevelts as well as the people around them were truly interesting, there were times when I felt that the details were a bit too repetitive and after awhile, I found my attention waning.  A few times when I got distracted and later re-focused back on the story, I realized that I had inadvertently skipped reading entire paragraphs in certain sections, yet it didn't feel like I had missed anything so I didn't go back to re-read those paragraphs – usually not a good sign.  Perhaps I had problems connecting with the second half of the story because it lacked emotional depth to me – it felt almost as though the narrator (Hick) was recounting her relationship with Eleanor as a detached third party rather than an intimate companion and friend. In comparisons, during the first portion of the story when Hick talked about her difficult childhood and her life prior to meeting the Roosevelts, it felt more personal and poignant – Hick's personality came alive for me during those chapters and I felt every emotion she felt…but that personality and emotion fizzled in the latter half of the story and I was left with a sense that something was lacking.   Perhaps I had the wrong expectations going into this book – from reading the summary, I thought I was going to get an emotionally rich, personalized (albeit fictional) story about Hick's relationship with Eleanor Roosevelt and the struggles they endure in maintaining this "open secret" during the Roosevelt era.  While there WAS some of this in the second half of the story, I felt that most of Hick's personal story was overshadowed by that of the Roosevelts – the second half read more like a run-of-the-mill biography of Eleanor Roosevelt rather than an impassioned recounting of a love affair from Hick's perspective.

This book didn't quite work out for me but I think it was more of an issue with me not connecting to the story rather than problems with the book itself.  The version I read was an uncorrected ARC and while the writing was very good, there wasn't much information in terms of Author's Note and historical context, both of which are things I usually look for when reading historical fiction, and in this case, I wasn't engaged enough in the story to want to spend time looking up the historical details on my own so that was an issue for me as well.  This one has gotten many glowing reviews though so I would encourage those interested to check those out for a more balanced perspective.

Received ARC from Random House via NetGalley

Review: The Great Alone (by Kristin Hannah)

My Rating: 5 stars

Set in Alaska in the 1970s, this wonderfully atmospheric story is about the Allbright family -- Ernt and Cora, and their teenage daughter Leni – and the struggles they endure both as a family and as individuals trying to survive in a harsh, unfamiliar environment for which they were totally unprepared.  A POW from the Vietnam War, Ernt returned after the war a changed man – suffering from PTSD, Ernt has a volatile temper and is unable to hold down a job.  When he inherits a piece of land from his late wartime buddy Bo Harlan, Ernt makes the impulsive decision to move his family out to the Alaskan wilderness, thinking that this will be the perfect place for them to rebuild their lives.  Thirteen years old when her family moves to Alaska, Leni has always lived under the shadow of her parents' stormy relationship – she was never able to make any friends due to her family moving non-stop (she'd gone to 5 different schools in 4 years) and feeling constantly lonely, Leni sought refuge in her love of reading and books that helped her escape the realities of her difficult life.  Leni always did as she was told and went along with whatever decision her parents made – whether good or bad -- partially because it made her life easier due to her dad's volatile behavior, but mostly because she loved her mother, who was her anchor, someone whom she felt a fierce need to protect.  In the rough wilderness of Alaska, a place of unbridled beauty yet also potential danger at every turn, the Allbrights are welcomed into the tightly-knit community and soon adapt to life in their remote little cabin, despite the harsh environment -- it seemed that finally, they found the answer to their prayers.  But as the dark winters and unpredictability of the weather cause Ernt's PTSD to worsen, Leni and her mother soon find themselves in a situation where the biggest threat to their lives wasn't from external factors, but rather the one person whom they were supposed to love the most.

This was the first book by Kristin Hannah that I've read and it definitely won't be the last.  I actually have a few of Hannah's previous books on my shelf but I decided to read this one first due to getting approved for an ARC and wanting to meet publication timeline.  Despite not having read her other works (yet), I still went into this one with high expectations due to everything I had heard about her other books and I have to say that I absolutely was not disappointed!  There were so many things I loved about this book – the writing, the story, the characters (Large Marge was definitely my favorite character!)…it was one of those books that I couldn't put down the minute I started reading it (one of the longest books I've read so far this year but took me one of the shortest times to read).  Hannah did a great job capturing the Alaska setting and the homestead way of life and even though I've never been to Alaska, I feel as though I already traveled there through the pages of this book.  In fact, I would even say that Alaska was more than just a setting for the story, it was actually a character itself!  While on the surface, this appeared to be a coming-of-age story about Leni having to deal with everything going on around her and how those experiences shaped her into the woman she eventually became, it was actually so much more than that.  Some of the themes explored include loneliness, belonging, survival (both in terms of physical landscape and also challenges within the family), spousal abuse, the long-lasting impact of war (the PTSD angle), societal constraints (i.e. the laws at the time not supporting battered women), love, loss, the intricacies of human relationships and emotions, etc. – all were woven into the story so seamlessly and effortlessly.  I was definitely impressed by the amount of ground Hannah was able to cover and yet still have such a compelling story with characters I couldn't help being drawn to.

For me, what sets this book apart (hence the 5 star rating) was the way the story spoke to me on a personal level more than any other book has so far.  I was all over the place emotionally while reading this book, so much so that I had to wait a little bit to gather my thoughts before writing this review.  As I watched the story unfold, especially the parts of the story told from Leni's perspective, I couldn't help thinking back to my own childhood and my family's "experience" with abuse.  I saw so much of my own past teenage self in Leni – not having many friends since childhood and the loneliness that resulted (though in my case I found solace in both books and television), having a strong bond with my mother throughout childhood and constantly feeling the need to protect her when things went bad, the feelings of resentment, anger, sadness, helplessness, fear – the tremendous fear – and constantly having to "walk on eggshells" not knowing whether "this will be the moment," the dreams of leaving everything behind and living my own life yet second-guessing due to not knowing what might happen to those I loved.  In the story, Ernt had the "excuse" of PTSD, of the horrors of war and being captured as a POW, the damage all of that did to him mentally, to "justify" his horrific and unforgivable actions, but in my family's case, there was no "excuse" aside from the lethal combination of gambling addiction and alcohol, exacerbated by a culture where saving face always mattered more than individual well-being and vocalizing abuse was akin to bringing shame upon the family – a cardinal sin.  As I paralleled some (not all) of Leni's story to my own while I was reading,  my emotions ran the roller coaster of being saddened by what Leni and her mom had to endure, to being angry, oh so angry, both at Ernt (who deserves no forgiveness) but also at Cora for repeatedly accepting the abuse and refusing all offers of help (and also forcing Leni to "go along with it as though nothing happened").  At the same time, I also rejoiced at the few stolen moments of happiness, whether it was for Leni or Cora, that were interspersed throughout the story.  I also loved the entire community that surrounded Leni with so much support, especially Large Marge (wish I had someone like that in my life), the Walker family (especially Matthew) and all the strong women, many of whom were survivors of some type of hardship themselves.  The ending made me cry (though I got teary-eyed during other segments as well), not necessarily with the way things happened, but the HOPE of it.  I read some reviews that felt the ending was too contrived, predictable, perhaps not even completely realistic, but in my eyes, it was a perfect – albeit bittersweet – ending.  Perhaps coming from a broken family myself and understanding first-hand the repercussions of abuse as well as the long-lasting impact it can still have on those who survive, part of me desperately wanted to see Leni have a happy ending to her story. 

This was a powerful, emotional read for me, one that I won't soon forget.  Highly recommended for sure!

Received ARC from St. Martin's Press via NetGalley

Review: Next Year in Havana (by Chanel Cleeton)

My Rating: 4.5 stars

I was enamored with this book from the very first page and found it very difficult to put down after I started reading it!   I will admit that I was reluctant to read this one at first, as I don't typically read romance novels and being that most of this author's previous works were contemporary romances, I was worried that this would be along the same lines -- however I decided to give this one a try, as I was drawn in by the historical aspect and also curiosity with the setting being in Cuba.   It turns out I was right to give this one a chance, as the romance aspect actually took a backseat to the history and also family dynamics, turning this into a wonderfully written work of historical fiction rather than a run-of-the-mill romance trope.

Alternating between two timelines, the story is narrated first by Elisa Perez in the late 1950s, as Cuba is in the midst of a revolution led by Fidel Castro against president Batista, and then later by Elisa's granddaughter Marisol Ferrara, nearly 60 years later, as she travels to Cuba for the first time to fulfill her grandmother's dying wish for her ashes to be scattered in the country that always had a special place in her heart.  As we accompany Marisol on a journey that is as much about discovering her roots, her heritage, as it is about coming to terms with the death of the beloved grandmother who raised her,  we are given insight into the history of Cuba – more specifically Havana – and what life is like for its people both in modern day as well as back during the revolutionary period, in Elisa's time.  The juxtaposition of the two versions of Cuba – Marisol's romanticized version passed on to her from family stories and memories versus the 'real' version of the Cuban people's perpetual struggle and sacrifice – provided an eye-opening look at a country that embodied both beauty and hope as well as devastation and suffering.  The disparity was so jarring at times that it really made me think about how grateful I am to live in a country that values freedom and at the same time, how so many things are taken for granted.  I was absolutely humbled by passages such as this one, which was both a powerful and timely reminder of how lucky we are living in the times and parts of the world that we do:  "I can't fathom living in a world where you have no rights, where there is no oversight, no accountability.  The United States isn't perfect; there's injustice everywhere I turn.  But there's also a mechanism that protects its citizens – the right to question when something is wrong, to speak out, to protest, to be heard.  It doesn't always work, sometimes the system fails those it was designed to protect, but at least that opportunity – the hope of it – exists." This was just one of many thought-provoking passages in this book — so many in fact that I found myself highlighting quite a bit and also stopping to reflect on some of the issues that were brought up.

In terms of the writing, I am blown away by how well-written this book was – the skill with which the author was able to weave all the historical details into the narrative yet still present such a compelling, heartfelt story with wonderfully layered characters was, to me, beyond impressive.  The writing was descriptive and beautiful, but most importantly, it was incredibly atmospheric, which I feel is one of the things that sets this book apart from some of the other works of historical fiction I've read recently.  The author Chanel Cleeton did a wonderful job of establishing a strong sense of place and time, so much so that I felt like I was transported to Havana myself and was truly able to get a feel for the city and Cuba as a whole, its inhabitants and their way of life.  There were so many topics that the book touched on – social injustice, economic inequality and instability, political strife, love, family, sacrifice, etc. – but the parts that drew me in the most were the details about Cuba's history and culture, especially the emotions and conflict surrounding what it meant to be Cuban for those who fled the country and live in exile yet were still forever connected to their heritage versus those who stayed behind, whether willingly or unwillingly, and what they had to endure as a result.  As mentioned in the book, much of Cuban history is political and so inevitably there were a lot of passages about politics throughout the story, yet not once did I feel that this book was trying to push a particular political message or viewpoint.  To me, this is a testament to the author's skill as a writer, as she was able to incorporate the politics piece in a way that impartially presented both sides, allowing us as the readers to determine for ourselves which (if any) side we related more to.  I also appreciated the fact that the author, who herself is Cuban-American, wove in elements of her own family history and experiences fleeing from Cuba after the revolution, as her passion for her heritage and her country's history truly did shine through.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed this one and learned a lot from it.  Highly recommended for historical fiction fans, especially those interested in learning more about Cuba.

Received ARC from Berkley Books via Penguin First to Read program

Review: The Promise Between Us (by Barbara Claypole White)

My Rating: 4 stars

The Promise Between Us is the second book about mental illness that I've read so far this year and while I feel like this one didn't have the emotional depth that the book I read earlier (Mira T. Lee's Everything Here is Beautiful) did, it was still a worthwhile read, and one that I would definitely recommend.  One of the reasons why I love reading is because of the wonderful ability that books have to broaden my horizons and teach me things that I either did not know previously or I knew but perhaps had a limited, even flawed, understanding of.  This book in particular was an eye-opener for me in that, through the story of Katelyn (Katie) and her struggle with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) as well as how it impacted those close to her, I gained some much-needed insight that helped me correct some of the misconceptions I had about the illness.

I will admit that prior to reading this book, I was one of those people who thought that OCD was a minor disorder which involved being obsessed with cleanliness, order, and avoiding germs.  Like many others who may not have experience dealing with mental illness on a personal level, my perception of OCD was pretty much in line with the way the illness is typically portrayed in our society – namely that people with OCD wash their hands until they bleed, sterilize every utensil they use in restaurants, refuse to shake hands or be touched by anyone for fear of spreading germs.  Now I realize how flawed and misguided that perception was. I was floored to learn the true nature of this illness, its pervasiveness, and how it can manifest itself in so many different ways.  I appreciate the tremendous detail on OCD that the author Barbara Claypole White provided via her characters' experiences and relationships, in a way that made it easily accessible and understood for readers such as myself who, up to this point, had such a flawed understanding of this debilitating illness.  There is a particular scene in the book where Katie tries to explain her illness to her ex-husband Callum, tying it back to her past family history and the possibility that their 10-year-old daughter Maisie may be suffering from the same illness, to which Callum's initial response is reflective of the stereotypical view of OCD:  "…Maisie is a confident, happy child…she doesn't wash her hands until they bleed.  She's not a neat freak."  So many powerful scenes such as this one, where we are given insight into the various manifestations of OCD (i.e. postpartum OCD, harm OCD, etc.) as well as other forms of mental illness such as anxiety disorder, PTSD, depression, etc. – all heavy topics, yet dealt with in a way that didn't feel heavy-handed or preachy.  Reading the author's notes, her family's history with OCD, her real-life inspiration for the characters in the story, also helped to put things in perspective for me.  Of course, I will never understand mental illness the same way someone who suffers from it day in and day out does, but I appreciate the fact that books like this one help bring wider awareness to such important issues.

The story itself was well-written, the characters well-developed and flushed out.  I like that each chapter was told from the perspective of the various characters, though personally I feel that the story would have been more impactful if told in first person rather than third person.  Though I liked the characters for the most part and felt that they were realistically portrayed, I wasn't able to connect as much on an emotional level with them for some reason.  Perhaps it is because I read this book not long after reading another book about mental illness, Everything Here is Beautiful, which did such an amazing job in terms of putting us into the minds of the characters and made the experience overall so much more personal – that book set the bar quite high for me, a standard that will be hard to top.  Regardless though, The Promise Between Us was a great effort by the author to bring OCD and its impact to the forefront and I would definitely read more books by her! 

Received ARC from Lake Union Publishing via NetGalley