My Rating: 3.5 stars
Upon finishing Cathy Park Hong’s book of essays entitled Minor
Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning, I have to admit that I feel a
bit conflicted. As an Asian American woman
who is close in age to Hong and also grew up in the Los Angeles area like she
did, there were many experiences she described in her essays that were absolutely
familiar to me – for example, struggling with identity and belonging, being discriminated
against due to my race, feeling like I oftentimes have to explain my heritage
to people due to preconceived biases stemming from ignorance – the list goes on
and on. Because of these shared experiences,
I am able to understand wholeheartedly where Hong is coming from in her essays,
even though culturally, we are from completely different backgrounds (Hong is
Korean American, I’m Chinese American).
Overall, I found Hong’s essay collection to be an
insightful read and very different from a lot of what is typically written
about identity and race, especially from an Asian American perspective. The basic premise that binds all of Hong’s
essays together is the concept of “minor feelings,” which Hong describes as “the
racialized range of emotions that are negative, dysphoric, and therefore
untelegenic, built from the sediments of everyday racial experience and the irritant
of having one’s perception of reality constantly questioned or dismissed.” In
essence, it is the recognition that the negative emotions many Asian Americans (and
other minority groups) have to deal with on a daily basis – feelings of shame,
self-doubt, paranoia, suspicion, melancholy, etc. – can be traced back to America’s history of imperialism
and colonization of Asian nations, a history that resulted in the creation of
an inherently racist capitalistic system that will constantly be in conflict
with the reality of our racial identity.
Amongst other things, Hong writes about the “weight of indebtedness”
that is a constant presence in her life as well as the lives of most immigrants
regardless of background, with the context of this “indebtedness” correlating
to a “gratitude” of sorts for being able to make a life for ourselves in this
country. All of Hong’s essays are
infused with a raw honesty that is at the same time perceptive and intelligent,
but also easy to grasp and understand.
With all that said however, going back to why I felt
conflicted after reading this book -- while there is definitely much truth to
what Hong wrote and several aspects of it did actually resonate with me, there
was also a large portion that I felt strayed too far from my own personal
reality. I’m not an activist and in
fact, most of the time, I try to steer as clear away from politics as I
possibly can. I also don’t spend every
waking moment of my life thinking about race, identity, and/or how I fit into
this world as an Asian American – not because I don’t care or that I’m okay
with being complacent about the racial circumstances in our society or whatnot –
but rather, the practical realities of my life don’t afford me the “luxury” of
constantly dwelling on identity politics and race. Don’t get me wrong though – this doesn’t mean
that if I see an injustice occurring, that I stand idly by instead of speaking
up and fighting…if the circumstances warrant it, I will do what is necessary
and also within my power to do. But by
the same token, it would also be “unjust” in my opinion to judge those who
choose not to fight, who choose not to rock the boat, who choose the path of least
resistant because they are content with living an ordinary, peaceful existence,
even if it means being largely invisible and/or complacent from an identity
perspective. Forcing oneself to see
everything through the lens of race and identity is exhausting and for me
personally, that has never been how I want to go about my life. At the end of the day, the most important
thing, for me at least, is respecting each other’s viewpoints and choices, especially
if they are different from our own.
While my viewpoint may differ from Hong’s in many areas,
I respect the fact that these essays reflect her personal thoughts and
experiences and she doesn’t try to impose those onto us as readers. I also appreciate Hong’s unflinching honesty as
well as her willingness to so candidly voice her feelings. Regardless, we definitely need more books
like this one, where we get to hear different voices tell their stories – it takes
a lot of courage to do so and that alone is already deserving of respect! Definitely a recommended read, though of
course with the understanding that this is Hong’s personal perspective as an
Asian American living in the United States and by no means does it represent
all Asian Americans.
Received ARC from One World (Random House) via
NetGalley.
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